Ethanol for beginners – or

Corn, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ethanol has less energy per gallon than gasoline. About 30% less. So if your car gets 20 mpg on gas, you’ll get about 14 mpg on ethanol.

Corn is one of the worst crops for ethanol production. Corn to ethanol means much effort for very little output. Doesn’t seem terribly bright to expend massive amounts of petroleum products (used in farm production) when the potential output of the end creation more or less equals the input. Kind of like deciding to make your own lead scuba weights. By the time you gather lead, melt and form it, you’ve spent a lot of time and polluted your own environment for no gain – the weights from the store are just as good or better and cost about the same.

Alas, corn is the most chemically intensive grain crop. Which means lots of pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers and petroleum products are used to make it grow. The more corn we grow, the more nasty runoff makes its way to the ocean (think dead zones) and into ground water (think bathing a baby in water laden with pesticides – then shiver in horror at that idea.)

In Brazil, ethanol is made from sugar cane, which is one of the best crops for the purpose. Creating ethanol from sugarcane is about a third as intensive as corn. Brazil might even be willing to send some our way, but is prevented from doing so by a 54¢ per gallon tariff.

What an odd situation. And simply not logical. Lobbying in Washington rarely is, and obviously some powerful folks are working to keep this silly situation intact.

Truly, deeply, grossly silly situations can continue for years unchecked. In this case, the market may intervene to help straighten things out. It seemed like a good idea at the time (doesn’t it always) to use corn for fuel rather than food. But here’s the rub: Corn is deeply intertwined with the American food system. So when corn is diverted from a food source to a fuel source, the inevitable result is higher prices for everything we eat.

How’s that been going over lately? The average middle class American has had the value of their home plummet, seen their purchasing power decrease, watched as their SUV has become an unsalable lump of metal and now gets hit extra hard on every trip to the grocery store.

Which means the ethanol from corn idea has not been a big success – due to the fundamental flaws mentioned above. The good news is that the world changes constantly. The other good news is that ethanol in and of itself is not a bad idea.

Here are a few things to think about. To grow corn, the farmer is always out there tilling, planting, coating with chemicals (pesticides, fertilizer.) But how about ethanol made from things like yard clippings, saw dust, switch grass, wood chips, crop leftovers and other organic waste? This is stuff that is either left over and would have to be disposed of anyway, or grows on its own with no input from a farmer. Ethanol made from this stuff is called Cellulosic ethanol, and the only bad news is that the process to make it is not quite ready for prime time. Trust us, it will be – and fairly soon. Huge amounts of money may be made from the process, which means the glory of the capitalist system will come into play. Someone will crack the case.

Just something to think about. Hope this helps.

xo

The Queen

I’m not kidding about these.  They are the best brownies I’ve ever had.  You know I used to travel for a living (flying - I was that female voice you heard over the PA saying “this is the Captain speaking” and talking about the weather at the destination.  You probably thought “who was THAT!??”)  Anyway, I stayed overnight in many cities all over the country, and I long ago figured out that the way to gauge the quality of any place was by their chicken salad, ice cream and brownies.  Since we are discussing brownies here, let me tell you what constitutes crummy brownies.  That would be crummy ingredients.  The practiced palette can discern such garbage as corn syrup and low quality shortening (as in - not butter.)  Yuk.  Also a gummy texture, or an overly cakey texture.  Likewise - yuk.  Who wants to waste calories on junk when you can have a taste treat as divine as these.  And no, they don’t have any extra secret ingredients.  Make these and everyone will love you like Martha Stewart.  Well, no not like Martha Stewart.  She strikes me as a little creepy and more than a little scary.  Let’s just say - make these and be the most popular cook on the block - or in the house.  These are not hard to make, but truly are… The Greatest Brownies…. Like ever!

1 ¼ cup cake flour

½ teaspoon salt

¾ teaspoon baking powder

6 ounces unsweetened chocolate – chopped up

12 tablespoons (1 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1” pieces

2 ¼ cups sugar

4 large eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla

Whisk to combine flour, salt and baking powder in medium bowl, set aside.

Melt chocolate and butter in large heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water, or in the microwave. If melting in microwave, start with 45 seconds, then stir chocolate/ butter. Continue to heat in 30 second increments until mixture is completely smooth when whisked.

When mixture is completely smooth, gradually whisk in sugar. Add eggs one at a time, whisking after each addition until thoroughly combined. Whisk in vanilla.

Add flour mixture in three additions, folding in with a rubber spatula until batter is completely smooth.

Turn oven on to 325. By the time you get finished laboriously putting the batter in the mini muffin tins, the oven will be preheated!

Use four 12 place mini muffin tins. Spray with non stick spray (don’t be shy, it is no fun when brownies stick!) Carefully transfer batter to the 48 tiny spots. If you do it just right, you’ll end up with no extra batter, and no empty tins. Good luck!

Bake for 17 minutes. Check for doneness with a toothpick or skewer. When inserted into the center of the brownies, said toothpick should come out with a few crumbs attached, but no raw batter. Don’t overcook!

Let cool for a few minutes and then remove from tins.

Enjoy!

Surge protectors and lightning

Most people think surge protectors will help shield a computer from damage in the event of a lightning strike. Ooops! Not so. I certainly thought this was true till I took a computer in for repair a few years back. The tech told me two capacitors had been exploded by lightning strikes. “What!?” I said “But I have five, count ‘em FIVE surge protectors!” “Well” he said “You do live in Florida.”

Point taken. I’m pretty sure Florida is the lightning capital of the world. Oh well.

So, what do surge protectors actually do? They guard against smaller surges. I know - I always thought electricity came in a perfectly smooth stream. Don’t know why I thought that… it’s pretty silly to think anything created in a big stinky coal fired plant and shoved through miles of wires would come into my house in a perfectly smooth form. It’s not smooth. The voltage varies, everything varies. Hey – nothing is perfect! You want some really crummy quality power? Use a cheap generator (more on that later.) But I digress. We were discussing surge protectors.

The only way to protect anything – like your computer – from a lightning strike is to completely remove the plug from the outlet. Not something one is likely to do every day, but a good idea if you are heading out for a few days…

… and live in the lightning capital of the world.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor…

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and send it back to the queen at sloppyfarkletush@queenofgreen.net The best name gets a free book. Who picks the best name? Why the Queen of course. It will be whichever name makes her spray peppermint tea out her nose from laughing so hard.   According to this system, the Queen’s name is indeed… Sloppy Farkletush.  … We genuflect.

The following is excerpted from a children’s book,”Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloppy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. The queen recommends at least 100 per day… for everyone.

Green Factoids

The geeks guide to going green

Some fun, some surprising, some downright scary.

Geothermal energy from the earth is nothing if not abundant. If we could utilize just 5% of the geothermal “wealth” we have here in the US, we could supply the electricity needs for 260 million Americans. Hmmm… That’s most of us (America’s population at the moment is right around 300 million.)

If Laundromats in the US switched to front loading machines, we could save a whole lot of water. If just one load of wash per day was washed by a front loader rather than a top loading machine, we’d save about a million gallons of water per day.

Think compact fluorescent bulbs have a funny light? Now you can get a full spectrum CFB. Claims are that it mimics natural light, reduces eye strain and alleviates fatigue. And as we all know, CFB’s use a fraction of what a standard incandescent bulb slurps up. Maker is Lumiram Ecolume.

Think big wind turbines slaughter poor defenseless birds by the millions? Think again. Most studies indicate that house cats are the big predators. Give the birds some credit… they can usually avoid large moving objects (like the blade of a wind turbine.) Actual number is two birds per turbine per year.

I swear, some of these names. When you hear or read the words “Feed in Tariff” you tend to think of something you might have to pay. Which is not very appealing – and in fact is quite backwards from the real meaning.

Here’s the deal… when you hear something about feed in tariffs in your state – rejoice! What it really means is that YOU could get PAID money for producing energy to feed into the grid.

Let’s use an example. (That’s the way I usually “get” things.) Germany has a great feed in tariff system. They pay 50¢ per KWH for any energy produced with PhotoVoltaic solar panels. All I can say to that is… FIFTY CENTS?!?!? Sign me up! There are lots of smart folks in Germany – one of whom is Farmer Schmitt (I made that name up.) He takes out a huge loan (millions) and installs an equally huge PV array in his sheep field. Considerately, he raises the panels up off the ground so the sheep can happily graze beneath. When all is said and done, after he pays all the expenses associated with the system, he makes about $60,000 per year off the solar energy his PV array produces. Which means he keeps farming, but puts an excellent chunk of money away for the future.

How is this paid for? Well, Germans are a forward looking lot, and they willingly took on the project. The average German pays 20¢ per KWH for electricity. Average rates in America are around 12¢. The effect of this? Germans are probably pretty careful about their electricity use because of the high price, and the extra is used to pay the folks who installed solar systems. The result is that although Germany is at the same latitude as southern Alaska, it has some of the highest solar electricity production in the world.

Is anyone thinking about Feed in Tariffs in the US? On a national level, the idea is not getting a lot of traction. Some states are considering it. For instance, Rhode Island is thinking about it. A great idea, since all of New England has either Class 2 or Class 3 winds.

Let’s say Rhode Island goes through with it. What then? Well, then anyone would have the opportunity to put up a turbine and make money. If I wanted to do it, I’d have to buy the turbine, get it installed and see to its maintenance. But then the state program would guarantee a certain amount per KWH for a set number of years (in the case of RI, I believe they are thinking about 25¢.) I could gather wind data, and have a pretty accurate idea of how much my turbine would produce and what my costs and profits might be.

How cool would it be to make money from wind turbines? I mean really… it would be a total win win situation. And who can argue with that?

This is the most basic information… just something to think about.

xoxo

The Queen