Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor…

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and send it back to the queen at sloppyfarkletush@queenofgreen.net The best name gets a free book. Who picks the best name? Why the Queen of course. It will be whichever name makes her spray peppermint tea out her nose from laughing so hard.   According to this system, the Queen’s name is indeed… Sloppy Farkletush.  … We genuflect.

The following is excerpted from a children’s book,”Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloppy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. The queen recommends at least 100 per day… for everyone.

Green Factoids

The geeks guide to going green

Some fun, some surprising, some downright scary.

Geothermal energy from the earth is nothing if not abundant. If we could utilize just 5% of the geothermal “wealth” we have here in the US, we could supply the electricity needs for 260 million Americans. Hmmm… That’s most of us (America’s population at the moment is right around 300 million.)

If Laundromats in the US switched to front loading machines, we could save a whole lot of water. If just one load of wash per day was washed by a front loader rather than a top loading machine, we’d save about a million gallons of water per day.

Think compact fluorescent bulbs have a funny light? Now you can get a full spectrum CFB. Claims are that it mimics natural light, reduces eye strain and alleviates fatigue. And as we all know, CFB’s use a fraction of what a standard incandescent bulb slurps up. Maker is Lumiram Ecolume.

Think big wind turbines slaughter poor defenseless birds by the millions? Think again. Most studies indicate that house cats are the big predators. Give the birds some credit… they can usually avoid large moving objects (like the blade of a wind turbine.) Actual number is two birds per turbine per year.