What will power the car of the future?  Hydrogen?  Biodiesel?  Batteries?  No one knows – yet.

I kind of like that.  Life, as we all know, is not a guided tour.  The unfolding is half the fun.  How dull to know in advance how everything would turn out.’

Here’s an irony; the future car may come from GM of all places.  Heaven knows the American auto industry of the past few decades has been the opposite of clairvoyant when strategizing the big picture.  But there is a really good idea on the way.  It is a plug-in hybrid called the Chevy Volt.  It will go 40 miles without using any gasoline at all.  They picked 40 because most people drive that many miles or less on most days. 

When I first heard about plug in hybrids, I thought immediately about the source of the electricity (the grid.)  Wouldn’t all that extra electricity going into cars cause grid overload?  Wouldn’t we just be adding to the CO2 problem?

The answer is no!  And here’s why.  As soon as I tell you this, you’re going to think “oh yeah, I hadn’t thought about that”.  So here goes:  If power companies had their dreams come true, their plants would run at a steady pace all day and all night producing a perfectly smooth stream of electricity with no fluctuations.

How are things really for the power company?  The opposite of their dream.  The need for electricity is much higher during the day, with spikes in demand all the time.  Think about this for a moment – somehow the power company has to perfectly match the output of its power plants with the demand of the moment.  Collectively, we take it for granted that when we turn the switch on, the juice will be there to make “it” run – whatever “it” is.  But for the guys who make sure that happens, every day is like a high wire juggling act.  Then at night, everyone goes to bed and the demand for power plummets – which means power plants have to be partially shut down. 

Now here comes the big piece of the puzzle.  When would hybrids be plugged in?  For the most part – at night!  Increase the load at night (by plugging in your handy hybrid for instance) and power plants can avoid the wasteful shut down – rev up cycle.  It is far more efficient to keep the plants running 24/7.  The grid (which btw, refers to everything that brings power from the big plants to all of us who need it) needs a serious face lift to keep up with the changes coming in the new energy reality.  The good news is that plug-in hybrids would make far more efficient use of the grid we have now.  Could easily be that future cars will run on biofuels made from garbage and wood chips (more on that later.)  But for the here and now, plug-in hybrids can be a great bridge from here to the future.

And about that carbon footprint thing?  Here’s the good news:  If you take electricity from a big power plant and put it in a battery to run a car, you create less CO2 than if you burned gas to cover those same miles.  Surprised?  Me too!  The DoE (Department of Energy) says if we converted three quarters of our fleet to plug in hybrid, we’d cut our CO2 emissions by 27%.  And that is with the grid in its current high carbon configuration.  If the entire grid was low carbon like California’s, we’d cut down emissions by 40%.

Wow!

Corn, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ethanol has less energy per gallon than gasoline. About 30% less. So if your car gets 20 mpg on gas, you’ll get about 14 mpg on ethanol.

Corn is one of the worst crops for ethanol production. Corn to ethanol means much effort for very little output. Doesn’t seem terribly bright to expend massive amounts of petroleum products (used in farm production) when the potential output of the end creation more or less equals the input. Kind of like deciding to make your own lead scuba weights. By the time you gather lead, melt and form it, you’ve spent a lot of time and polluted your own environment for no gain – the weights from the store are just as good or better and cost about the same.

Alas, corn is the most chemically intensive grain crop. Which means lots of pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers and petroleum products are used to make it grow. The more corn we grow, the more nasty runoff makes its way to the ocean (think dead zones) and into ground water (think bathing a baby in water laden with pesticides – then shiver in horror at that idea.)

In Brazil, ethanol is made from sugar cane, which is one of the best crops for the purpose. Creating ethanol from sugarcane is about a third as intensive as corn. Brazil might even be willing to send some our way, but is prevented from doing so by a 54¢ per gallon tariff.

What an odd situation. And simply not logical. Lobbying in Washington rarely is, and obviously some powerful folks are working to keep this silly situation intact.

Truly, deeply, grossly silly situations can continue for years unchecked. In this case, the market may intervene to help straighten things out. It seemed like a good idea at the time (doesn’t it always) to use corn for fuel rather than food. But here’s the rub: Corn is deeply intertwined with the American food system. So when corn is diverted from a food source to a fuel source, the inevitable result is higher prices for everything we eat.

How’s that been going over lately? The average middle class American has had the value of their home plummet, seen their purchasing power decrease, watched as their SUV has become an unsalable lump of metal and now gets hit extra hard on every trip to the grocery store.

Which means the ethanol from corn idea has not been a big success – due to the fundamental flaws mentioned above. The good news is that the world changes constantly. The other good news is that ethanol in and of itself is not a bad idea.

Here are a few things to think about. To grow corn, the farmer is always out there tilling, planting, coating with chemicals (pesticides, fertilizer.) But how about ethanol made from things like yard clippings, saw dust, switch grass, wood chips, crop leftovers and other organic waste? This is stuff that is either left over and would have to be disposed of anyway, or grows on its own with no input from a farmer. Ethanol made from this stuff is called Cellulosic ethanol, and the only bad news is that the process to make it is not quite ready for prime time. Trust us, it will be – and fairly soon. Huge amounts of money may be made from the process, which means the glory of the capitalist system will come into play. Someone will crack the case.

Just something to think about. Hope this helps.

xo

The Queen

1 ¼ cup cake flour

½ teaspoon salt

¾ teaspoon baking powder

6 ounces unsweetened chocolate – chopped up

12 tablespoons (1 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 1” pieces

2 ¼ cups sugar

4 large eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla

Whisk to combine flour, salt and baking powder in medium bowl, set aside.

Melt chocolate and butter in large heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water, or in the microwave. If melting in microwave, start with 45 seconds, then stir chocolate/ butter. Continue to heat in 30 second increments until mixture is completely smooth when whisked.

When mixture is completely smooth, gradually whisk in sugar. Add eggs one at a time, whisking after each addition until thoroughly combined. Whisk in vanilla.

Add flour mixture in three additions, folding in with a rubber spatula until batter is completely smooth.

Turn oven on to 325. By the time you get finished laboriously putting the batter in the mini muffin tins, the oven will be preheated!

Use four 12 place mini muffin tins. Spray with non stick spray (don’t be shy, it is no fun when brownies stick!) Carefully transfer batter to the 48 tiny spots. If you do it just right, you’ll end up with no extra batter, and no empty tins. Good luck!

Bake for 17 minutes. Check for doneness with a toothpick or skewer. When inserted into the center of the brownies, said toothpick should come out with a few crumbs attached, but no raw batter. Don’t overcook!

Let cool for a few minutes and then remove from tins.

Enjoy!

Most people think surge protectors will help shield a computer from damage in the event of a lightning strike. Ooops! Not so. I certainly thought this was true till I took a computer in for repair a few years back. The tech told me two capacitors had been exploded by lightning strikes. “What!?” I said “But I have five, count ‘em FIVE surge protectors!” “Well” he said “You do live in Florida.”

Point taken. I’m pretty sure Florida is the lightning capital of the world. Oh well.

So, what do surge protectors actually do? They guard against smaller surges. I know - I always thought electricity came in a perfectly smooth stream. Don’t know why I thought that… it’s pretty silly to think anything created in a big stinky coal fired plant and shoved through miles of wires would come into my house in a perfectly smooth form. It’s not smooth. The voltage varies, everything varies. Hey – nothing is perfect! You want some really crummy quality power? Use a cheap generator (more on that later.) But I digress. We were discussing surge protectors.

The only way to protect anything – like your computer – from a lightning strike is to completely remove the plug from the outlet. Not something one is likely to do every day, but a good idea if you are heading out for a few days…

… and live in the lightning capital of the world.

Here is your dose of humor…

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and send it back to the queen at sloppyfarkletush@queenofgreen.net The best name gets a free book. Who picks the best name? Why the Queen of course. It will be whichever name makes her spray peppermint tea out her nose from laughing so hard.   According to this system, the Queen’s name is indeed… Sloppy Farkletush.  … We genuflect.

The following is excerpted from a children’s book,”Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloppy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. The queen recommends at least 100 per day… for everyone.

The geeks guide to going green

Some fun, some surprising, some downright scary.

Geothermal energy from the earth is nothing if not abundant. If we could utilize just 5% of the geothermal “wealth” we have here in the US, we could supply the electricity needs for 260 million Americans. Hmmm… That’s most of us (America’s population at the moment is right around 300 million.)

If Laundromats in the US switched to front loading machines, we could save a whole lot of water. If just one load of wash per day was washed by a front loader rather than a top loading machine, we’d save about a million gallons of water per day.

Think compact fluorescent bulbs have a funny light? Now you can get a full spectrum CFB. Claims are that it mimics natural light, reduces eye strain and alleviates fatigue. And as we all know, CFB’s use a fraction of what a standard incandescent bulb slurps up. Maker is Lumiram Ecolume.

Think big wind turbines slaughter poor defenseless birds by the millions? Think again. Most studies indicate that house cats are the big predators. Give the birds some credit… they can usually avoid large moving objects (like the blade of a wind turbine.) Actual number is two birds per turbine per year.

Here’s the deal… when you hear something about feed in tariffs in your state – rejoice! What it really means is that YOU could get PAID money for producing energy to feed into the grid.

Let’s use an example. (That’s the way I usually “get” things.) Germany has a great feed in tariff system. They pay 50¢ per KWH for any energy produced with PhotoVoltaic solar panels. All I can say to that is… FIFTY CENTS?!?!? Sign me up! There are lots of smart folks in Germany – one of whom is Farmer Schmitt (I made that name up.) He takes out a huge loan (millions) and installs an equally huge PV array in his sheep field. Considerately, he raises the panels up off the ground so the sheep can happily graze beneath. When all is said and done, after he pays all the expenses associated with the system, he makes about $60,000 per year off the solar energy his PV array produces. Which means he keeps farming, but puts an excellent chunk of money away for the future.

How is this paid for? Well, Germans are a forward looking lot, and they willingly took on the project. The average German pays 20¢ per KWH for electricity. Average rates in America are around 12¢. The effect of this? Germans are probably pretty careful about their electricity use because of the high price, and the extra is used to pay the folks who installed solar systems. The result is that although Germany is at the same latitude as southern Alaska, it has some of the highest solar electricity production in the world.

Is anyone thinking about Feed in Tariffs in the US? On a national level, the idea is not getting a lot of traction. Some states are considering it. For instance, Rhode Island is thinking about it. A great idea, since all of New England has either Class 2 or Class 3 winds.

Let’s say Rhode Island goes through with it. What then? Well, then anyone would have the opportunity to put up a turbine and make money. If I wanted to do it, I’d have to buy the turbine, get it installed and see to its maintenance. But then the state program would guarantee a certain amount per KWH for a set number of years (in the case of RI, I believe they are thinking about 25¢.) I could gather wind data, and have a pretty accurate idea of how much my turbine would produce and what my costs and profits might be.

How cool would it be to make money from wind turbines? I mean really… it would be a total win win situation. And who can argue with that?

This is the most basic information… just something to think about.

xoxo

The Queen

1. Change every light bulb in your home or office from incandescent to compact fluorescent. See Start Small for details on just how much money you can save.
2. Put a power strip on your computer “blob”. Besides saving 1-2% on your energy bill, you will add an extra layer of protection for your computer by further removing it from the electrical grid when it is turned off. See Start Small for details.
3. Get a solar water heater for you home. 5000kwh for an electric water heater per year?!? That’s right. A solar water heater is such a great idea it is a total no brainer. EVERYONE should have one. See Start Medium for more details.
4. Consider an exterior solar lighting system. A good system lights the outside of your home or office all night, and you’ll never see it on your power bill. See Start Small for the Queen’s favorite.
5. When the time comes to replace your air conditioning unit, get the very highest SEER number you can. Many older models have a SEER number of 9 or so. The newest models go up to 23 SEER. Pretty good when you consider that for every SEER number you go up, efficiency increases 5-8%. Go from 9 to 23? You’ll save 70%+ on your cooling costs! AC units can be real hogs, so this is a fabulous opportunity. See Start Medium for more info.
6. For dark interior rooms, consider an interior solar system. Almost every home has an interior room which is dark even during the day. Lighten it up during the day with no electricity involved. See Start Small.
7. Start yourself on the road to alternative energy with a fun and easy gadget. Like a solar cell phone charger, or an Africa lamp used as a night light (we’ll have these available soon.)
8. Consider a solar attic fan. An overheated attic means your AC system works unnecessarily hard. See Start Small for details.
9. Better yet, consider changing the insulation in your attic. See Start Medium for details.
10. When decorating for Christmas, consider LED lights. Even a few strings of the old style tiny lights use much more than you would think. LED’s are champs for low energy usage.
11. Did we say 10? Well, here’s one more. Secretly, we all have our moments when we’d like to “stick it to the man”. Think of your energy usage in those terms. Every kwh you don’t use is one you don’t pay for – and therefore, you get to “stick it to the man” in your own small way. So change your mindset from a one marshmallow mentality to a three marshmallow mentality…. And get on the bandwagon!

The Night of the Flying Dinner Rolls

I looked over at the pilot and raised my eyebrows. He nodded slightly. I turned the handle and opened the door. The plane went from hot and noisy to hot and deafening… and very windy. I stuck my head out the door. If I had been in freefall, my nose would have looked like I had two small red potatoes wedged firmly up either nostril, it always did. As it was, the skin on my face rippled and my hair tied itself into innumerable tiny knots. Ah, this was the life! I looked down at our jump sight. We were over an airport in California, and it was show time! Air show time.

I was always the “spotter”. She who decides where to get out of the plane so that landing is accomplished in the proper spot. “We” were four women skydivers, a rather well known demonstration skydiving team. At this air show, we were the main act. Usually there were aerobatic planes everywhere but at this show, there was no available airspace for aerobatics, so we were a big part of the show. But just a part. Much of the show was military static displays. When asked, the military can come up with fascinating hardware for the public to ogle. Mostly big planes, really big planes and planes so big you could drive a tank through them. In fact… they do drive tanks through them! The show was going quite well. From our vantage point 5,000’ up in the air, we could see that the crowd was large and growing as people streamed in.

“Cut!” I yelled. The pilot pulled the power back and I and my 100 lbs of gear lumbered out of the plane. That was many years and a number of pounds ago, so I did not weigh much more than my gear. “Twack!” my parachute opened. My huge American flag unfurled and fluttered behind me. The crowd cheered, the newspaper photographers snapped. The show director was very pleased. Her name was Stacey.

Oh yeah, she was barely five feet tall, and eight months pregnant.

The day was a great success, and a party had been planned for all the performers and lucky selected members of the public. The performers in this instance were us and a horde of young military guys who came along with the static display aircraft. The venue was a large ballroom in our hotel (wise choice, as no driving was required after the party.)

The guests filed in: We four women, and a whole lot of young “I’m on the road and ready to let loose” kind of guys, most still in their nomex jumpsuits. They were hungry, and thirsty for “beverages”. I don’t recall exactly what was served for dinner, but I do recall the rolls.

As dinner was being served, it became apparent there would be live entertainment at this shindig. “Wow” I thought, “this is going to be some party!” I wondered if this would be before, or in place of the karaoke brawl which was the norm. Out in the dining area, adult beverages were flowing freely. Although I was a complete teetotaler, I knew that in the eyes of young military guys, the best shows always had an open bar. This show did not disappoint.

And who was to be our act for the evening? Why it was… Shanda Lear. I’m not making this up. She was the daughter of Bill Lear, the designer of the Lear jet. Did her Mom name her that or had she changed her name? The curtain opened… there was Shanda, a mirror disco ball and colored lights. “Wow” I thought again, “this is getting better by the minute!” Her recorded music started, and Shanda launched into her song; I think it was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.

I’ve always been fascinated by the eternal battle in the world of art between ability and desire. Some people have ability… but no great desire to pursue a craft. Far more people are gripped by a desire with the strength of biological imperative but have been cruelly shorted in the ability department. As the song progressed, I could quickly tell two things. One, that our singer was thrilled to have such a big audience and such a great gig. And two, that our singer was locked in that battle… and desire was winning.

Shanda was giving it her all. Listening made me wonder if voice coaches ever made a stab at teaching one to sing on key. If so, Shanda has missed that lesson.

At this point, I was back stage. Stacey was there as well. I stood slightly behind her, taking in the whole glorious scene. Who would want to watch television when you could watch this? I looked out over the dining area and noted a lone dinner roll arcing menacingly through the air, soaring most of the way across the room. Another roll, or maybe the same one soared back across the room. Stacey also took all this in: Shanda – lurching wildly between sharp and flat, the now well beveraged young men ready for – if not their karaoke brawl, then perhaps a food fight. Those were always fun.

“Ooooh,” I thought, “this is going to be good”. But Stacey wasn’t the big cheese for nothing! “Get her off the stage!” she yelled. Her eyes flashed between the stage and her “guests”. She knew exactly what was about to happen. “Oh my God, GET HER OFF THE STAGE!” But how was that to be done? There was no crook handy for yanking unfortunate singers away from menacing audiences. Meanwhile, the dinner rolls were now flying in formation, and in multiples. A few jello cubes were being added in… and I was waiting for the cole slaw. As soon as that started flying, the food fight would be on… and unstoppable.

“PULL THE POWER!” Stacey yelled, “PULL THE POWER – NOW!”

I don’t recall whether Stacey actually ran over and pulled the plug herself, but someone did pull the power, and in the dark, Shanda was saved from a fate involving …. jello.

I found a picture from that party the other day. The karaoke machine showed in the corner, young men and beer bottles were strewn everywhere… we four women were young and cute, and doing a pretty good job of singing something (probably not Over the Rainbow) and dancing in unison. My long hair was flying wildly in time to the music. The karaoke brawl was in full swing. Though I went to many more air shows in my career, I never saw Shanda again. Ah, that was the life.

OK, so we lied about one thing. The jello was not green… I think it was bright red. Other than that, everything is true, and no names were changed. After all, Stacy averted certain and messy disaster with her quick thinking… why change her name? And Shanda? Well, a friend told me he had her CD and kind of liked it, Plus she was out there giving it her all – doing what she wanted, - so you go girl!

By now, we all know how smart it is to use energy wisely by going green. On a personal level, it is one of the brightest moves any of us can make. But let’s think in broadly geo-political terms for just a moment. Someday I am going to write a Phd thesis on the destructive power of wishful thinking and denial. So much fodder for that paper! For instance, global warming. Does anyone really truly believe it is not real? Yes! I know many of them. In the spite of hard data, and almost perfect unanimity among scientists, many regular folks still refuse to believe it is real. The fact is, even if it were a total hoax, and all our climate change was due to the secret emissions of as yet undiscovered flat worms, the best situation for the world is to do something about it anyway. What would happen if everyone decided to go green? What if it became the wave of the future. Would the world cease to turn? No. In fact, it is likely the world would become a far lovelier place, and the capitalist system would jump right on the bandwagon and help things along… thus spurring the economy. Back to the broadly geo-political thing… what would happen if everyone in the US suddenly got all hot and bothered and decided to be energy self sufficient? Imagine that… competing with the neighbors to see who could be more efficient and more green. Truth is, there is SO much waste in our lives, we could do it with relative ease. And then what? Well then, think of all the oil we would not buy. Think of the regimes we would not infuse with our treasure. The middle east would be terribly upset with us for not giving them so much money. So might Venezuela. Man, that would be tragic, wouldn’t it? See what we mean about Green being the new Red White and Blue? We might upset a few others around the world with our “green” habits, but we’d certainly do ourselves the biggest favor possible.

Not to get on a soapbox here, but check out some of these illustration. They are more than a little scary if you stop, look, think and let it all settle in.

Where electricity comes from.

Funny how that big huge part of the pie which represents coal is sort of a grungy gray brown color. Yeah… “funny”. Here’s why.

This is true… and one of the most shocking things I came to realize during my many hours of research. “Uh oh” indeed.

Check out this chart. Remember the big oil crisis of the 70’s? We were still finding much more oil than we used. Look at the situation now. Use keeps rising, but finds keep declining. This chart starkly illustrates what we need to do. Do you like your children? Do you want to leave anything for them?

This is a hopeful looking chart. I like this one.

The only worrisome word on it seems to be deprivation. It has so many meanings. Maybe it means not being able to fly across the country at will to see the family. At the other end of the scale, it could mean “tiffs” over remaining oil supply. “Tiffs”… you know, like war, mayhem, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse stuff… Of course, we stand at the moment at the very top of this chart and have every chance to be brilliant and pull it off.

Just a thought…

xo

QoG