Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.
Here is your dose of humor…
A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and send it back to the queen at sloppyfarkletush@queenofgreen.net The best name gets a free book. Who picks the best name? Why the Queen of course. It will be whichever name makes her spray peppermint tea out her nose from laughing so hard. According to this system, the Queen’s name is indeed… Sloppy Farkletush. … We genuflect.
The following is excerpted from a children’s book,”Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…
1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloppy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy
2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle
3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.
Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. The queen recommends at least 100 per day… for everyone.
